PART I: Ecstasy in my Hometown: Shall we microdose on love?
“Love is the only thing that grows when shared” The Little Prince by Saint-Exupéry
It is a fact. Our young generation are taking over the underworld with spontaneous rave parties, and, over the last few years, I have personally been witnessing an interesting phenomenon in my hometown of Geneva.
I have never been so keen of crowded parties, bars and nightclubs due to the hyper sensory stimulations my brain struggled to process and the amount of human’s energy systems to deal with. Staying home bathing in the glory of silence and the gracious presence of my two felines, has always been my preference. However, on Sunday mornings, I would often require of my girlfriends to share with me the gossips and the highlights of their night out so it would give me a sense of belonging but also sometimes a sense relief to have chosen home over hangover
Hangovers are old fashioned! They say. What people want now is to have fun, to dance and to make out with Molly. Amongst them, young people but also people from my own generation, that includes parents, politicians, acquaintances, close friends, ex boyfriends and people you would never expect.
So far nothing too crazy, just people from different backgrounds and generations coming together for the sake of celebration. This new trend lies on two very simple principles: to gather in private or public places and get wild.
The same people also share a common desire: to taste her at the tip of their tongues. The one who has the power to fill the glasses of any existential voids within minutes and the ability to transport anyone into kaleidoscopic dancefloors in others consciousness realms.
You would have understood it by now, I am talking about ecstasy. Also commonly called the love drug. This drug has existed on social platforms for a long time now and in my old party times, ecstasy already existed but, some studies have shown that ecstasy was not as popular in the 80s as it is now.
Back then, there was a certain taboo about drugs and the people who were taking them. I feel that people were, rightly so, more fearful of the consequences that, taking drugs on a regular basis, would have on their brains and there was some sort of a healthy refrain in the collective. At least the one I was evolving into.
Now most of the people gathering in these Geneva rave parties are tripping under the same substance: The love drug also commonly called Ecstasy, Molly, E, XTC, X, Adam, Hug, Beans, Clarity or Lover’s speed.
Yet some questions are maturing related to the concern I feel for these people in my hometown…
Where does this scruffiness come from? What are these people seeking individually? Why is the collective need or suffer from? Why are these people not able to have fun together without the love pill? Why are people not afraid of the negative effects of the drugs anymore ?
Please do not get me wrong, I am not here to judge the behaviors of the people taking drugs for I have done it myself. Yes, I have once tried MDMA in my twenties. And if I understand the very pleasant effect that the drug can have on someone’s the brain, I also certainly remember experiencing the following days, what I still recall as the longest and the most dreadful hungover of my life.
After that experience and seeing how negatively Molly affected me, I surely know that it ain’t for me. My quest really started there, looking for ways to reach similar ecstatic states without the substance. So in my many years learning about dance therapy, tantra, trance & shamanic practices, I found my answers and my purpose. To guide others to reach altered states of consciousness, connect and heal without the drug and in a sustainable way.
In my long time search to understand what was happening, I open my heart to non judgemental observation and started having honest conversations with some people taking part in this new collective behavior. It seemed to be common answers to my question: Why do you take MDMA?
· I feel a need to escape the daily life responsibilities…
· Dancing on MDMA helps to induce a ecstatic trance state that we are not able to reach without the substance…
· When you get into a trance state, it is so freeing…
· Dancing like this feels like a purge for the body and mind…
· MDMA gives you a high of love that is difficult to attain without it…
· I feel less awkwardness socially…
· MDMA opens up people for hugging, kissing and fucking…
· There is a feeling of belonging that comes together amongst the people under MDMA
· MDMA is like therapy to me…
But the same people also report that after taking MDMA:
· They feel deflated, tired, with depressive feelings the next days
· They go back to the same mental state coming with a sense of emptiness afterwards
· Their life does not get better when they go back to their daily lives
· They start obsessing over the next Molly party and that is all that matter
· They complain about now feeling bored at a party without the substance
· If some seem to report having experiences of some spiritual connection during the high, they also mention that these feelings disappeared afterwards
· They report having done stupid shit and regret it later on
But when I mention the evidence based research made on the dangerous consequences of drug taking for recreational purpose outside a therapeutic context of a non safe space*, these were the most common reaction:
· New Studies have also shown that alcohol is much more dangerous than these kind of drugs…
· There is nothing wrong with MDMA because everybody is taking it and everybody seems fine…
· I can take it sometimes and then go back to my kids and spouse, my daily responsibilities and my work as if nothing happened…
· Neuroscientific surveys show that LSD, MDMA and Ritaline are now used for therapeutical purpose therefore it is good for you…
· It is just about love and connection, there is nothing wrong with that, everybody needs that…
I have observed this common factor in all the people with whom I have discussed the topic of ecstasy. All the humans seem thirsty for love and connection reports the Fox to the Little Prince in the Saint-Exupéry story. We all need to feel love, connection and belonging with one another in order to survive. A study has shown that babies could die of love and connection deprivation. To experience love through our senses, being held with the grace of a loving touch, or experience ecstatic states within our bodies are some of the reasons why we are here on earth.
We also need to feel that we belong to the same tribe and that we are not alone on our blue planet. But we live in a world where disconnection is the worst pandemic of all time and these core need depravation is leading us to feel defleated, lonely and empty.
This sense of disconnection has increase throughout our human evolution, is a direct consequence of the loss of rituals in our society but also from our increasing inability to create human intimacy without chemicals. We are losing the courage to be vulnerable with one another and admit our legitimate thirst for love and since I have been witnessing Molly taking over my hometown and the underworld of our young generation: I am obsessed with one question…
How can we seriously believe that a pill full of shit could be a sustainable solution to heal our deepest wounds and satisfy our never ending yearning for love?
I don’t have the answer yet and I promise to continue my quest with an holistic & phenomenological perspective into the world of science, the arts and spirituality but sometimes my common sense is telling me that I won’t find my answer in a pill.
Wildly,
Agnes
Nota Bene: Book your spot for the upcoming Ecstatic dance party Born to be wild the 7th of October in Geneva!
*A safe space= A places intended to be free of bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening actions, ideas, or conversations (Wikipédia sourced)
